All My Blog's A Stage

OK I’ve asked and been asked what it really means to be “normal”. It feels like a closed answer: be average, fly under the radar. Those things are true, but that begs the question of what truly is average? You might say average is having features and likes that are sit in the middle of the pendulum: teeth, hair, weight, skin, hobbies, tastes in music and fashion, and family. And by family I don’t mean the nuclear family – Mom, Dad, Junior, Sally, and family dog, Buddy – I mean one that doesn’t attract attention. Do you see a pattern here? People want to stand out and “make their mark” but there are such rigid ways to “stand out” that even being different is just a subculture of normal.

But what about the people who are normal in all the right ways except one? Brandon is a brown-eyes brown-hair C-B student enjoying his Friday nights playing Minecraft and GTA IV and drinking some smooooth Diet Coke, yet being overweight makes him a laughingstock among his peers. Or people who look normal, who really aren’t? Ellie has red hair and green eyes, a cardigan-wearer, and a yearbook club member, but enjoys making 3,000-peice LEGO figures instead of going to the mall or looking for a spring fling like her friends under the guise of being grounded or babysitting her little brother. Getting into some odd territory, how about those who don’t look normal in the slightest, yet are more normal than anyone else you know? Sam has bright blue hair, and his favorite trick is scaring the adults by doing wheelies in his wheelchair but is always down for Monopoly or Youtube videos of cats on catnip. There’re so many variables of a person that makes then “normal” or not. It’s just a huge algebra problem where x is never a set variable. I’m actually smiling to myself as I write this at the absurdity of it all, but it’s understandable. We’re human, and we like to be in control and be able to identify things at a glance. Making categories and guidelines of things to do and not do traces back to ancient times. A prime example is the Ten Commandments in the Bible.

For those unfamiliar, the Ten Commandments is when God told a man called Moses to tell these people he had led out of slavery (The Israelites. This names hails from a man named Israel (or Jacob) who wrestled with an angel and was dubbed “Israel”. The people who were slaves adopted this name generations later and called themselves “the sons of Israel”.) how to act correctly, because, if you’ve ever had the opportunity to read the book of Exodus, they were the embodiment of the phrase, “this is why we can’t have nice things.” Even back then, we needed things to be in a neat, compiled list for us to check the boxes off on if it was “good” or “bad”, or, in our case, “normal” or “different”.

Unlike “Do not steal”, “Do not murder”, and “Do not cheat on your partner”, normality is different. It’s a big grey area with only the outer edges being black and white, like the rind of a ripe watermelon. It’s not unmistakable yes-and-no, it’s more philosophical and subjective. I this is the moment where I bring up probably the most obvious thing about me: I’m not neurotypical. “Really, Kat? You thought I made it down here without that light bulb going off?” I hear you saying. But I want to throw that in to bring me to this question for you, reader: What do you define normal as? How someone looks? How they act? Their personality? See, now you have the same smile playing on your lips, because every “well a normal person should like _________” is countered with a “But what about _______?” It’s so strange to think about! We categorize people by their ability to name singers and book titles.

“But Kaaaat! I’m DiFfErEnT! I’m not like the others!” Ok calm down Todd and Elizabeth, I get it. I truly do. You’re emo, vegan, goth, hippie, bodybuilder, sporty, gamer, whatever. But what made you want to do those things? Was it your interests, or your insecurity with being abnormal being funneled into a pop subculture? Was it your desire to be different, or wanting to break away from the suffocating “normal”? Many people don’t know a woman named Temple Grandin. She’s autistic, which gave her the ability to notice the subtle behaviors of cows on her aunt and uncle’s farm. She went on to get a doctorate in animal science and write many books and articles. Why do I bring her up? Because one of the things she did was make a system where cows could be washed and killed without anxiety and pain. Her system made them think they were choosing their own path, yet they were only headed towards a tub of water, and then the slaughterhouse. We are the cows. We think we’re making our own paths, breaking free, only to be sucked into a different “normal”, as well as the dirt on our shoes from expectations we just abandoned. It’s crazy, but you can look around and see it’s exactly what has happened. Oh, and, just so we’re clear, I’m not by any means saying I’m “different” or smarter by a long shot. We like to think we’re Narutos when we’re really all Sakuras: average with potential. This circles back to what I was thinking when I first started this. Normal isn’t a definition you can slap into the Merriam-Webster dictionary and call it a day, it’s different, changing. It’s open-ended to one’s own values, morals, and beliefs. I want to leave you with a final thought: Normality can change. It’s never simple, and it’s never easy. But I beg of you, be kind, or at least polite. The kid with blue hair has a sister with cancer. The chubby kid is living with a stepmom that hates him, and the wallflower ginger is just trying to make it out the door.